.the.nerve.

so we move on Monday.





im a little .hot.and.cold.





well, I guess thats just me latey in general. im finding myself to be..."off?" - and its not the first time.
im shut in.
im not bieng a good friend.
im not working as hard as I should be.
im not doing the right things.
and I just dont feel like im...I dont know, a good enough person right now.



.so what does she do?.... RUN. - to Edmonton we go. (insert.GAG.)

so - this is one of those blogs with a disclaimer attached... im whiney. but read on if you will

the people who read my blog know that im honest with how im feeling on here. because I generally dont speak my issues out to the world...Tay Laughes when I politely remind him that he cannot discuss what I blog...in real life. not that it isnt real life...its just.... let me explain...



they are my thoughts. and I gaurd them well.

If im not a person who cries alot. is this a problem?

I look inside my head sometimes and find this .wall.

.its.huge.

and hard to break.


and all these thoughts just gather behind it. thoughts that cross my mind for a second...and INSTANT. and I push them away.

.sure.

lots of people do that right?

but mine go behind my

.wall.

and when my thoughts come over my

.wall.

we have a bit of a problem.


I get anxoius. sure, everyone gets that too right? when you breathe just a little heavier...and worry a little more. most people can handle it.

I struggle with that.

its just me, its my trial.

some days are better than others.

some days are hard on Tay.

some days I just need my dog.

some days I just want to haze out

faze out.

and others,

I cant wait to crawl out of bed and into the arms of the person who loves me.

I have a lot of amazing things.

but the truth is

I have anxiety.

the other truth is - im still here.

and I got him.

I cant wait for tomorrow.

.x.x.

R

.its.SUMMER....the.SPRING.is.back.in.my.step.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer... and like it. ~Russel Baker

Its.here!

my favorite time of year.

the time when I can pick up my camera...and find something to shoot....ANYWHERE! becuase Alberta is BEAUTIFUL in the summer...not that im not creative in the winter...but like, WHO is going outside to take pictures in the winter...not me. .summer. got it?

.SUMMER.

when I think of summer some things come to mind.

the first, and of course...because im a suck.

.LOVE. - Taylor and I spent our first real ".summer.love." night tonight. ..where we could stand outside and kiss goodnight...we didnt have to run into the house so we didnt freeze our toes off. we just looked at the stars...and...well....kissed! dont make me get into it. :S

.LAUGHTER. - I took Beckas 3 montsters to the waterpark in shawnessy today. and these few pictures explain...prettymuch how this is another fave part of summer.

we laughed and played all afternoon.

.FRIENDS. - I somehow conned some of my besites into coming to watch the midgets with me and T.C - Natalie Clark...like...shes such a good sport. she came out with the WORST sun burn I have seen in ages.....she fell asleep in her hammock...with sun glasses on...obviously. lol

.PHOTOSHOOTS!.

seriously. people are such good sports about letting me drag them out to random place and shoot them...well you know...take pictures of them even if they dont feel pretty, or arent ready. im coming for .YOU. next!

there are a million other things I love about summer....but THIS summer in particular?

.im.

.thinking.

.CHANGE.

and change starts right now and goes on for the rest of my life.

.summer brings me these new GIFTS.

.i.get.to.marry.my.best.friend.

.im.moving...not.running...moving.

.i.have.a.family(BOSSERS!)

.im.not.alone.

.summer.releives.my.anxiety....finally...I.CAN.BREATHE.

breathe in

breathe out.

.welcome.summer.

.x.x.

.R.

.SORRY!.

Hey Team!

okay, so i know its been forever since the last post. im sorry! we're sorry!

since the last post there was a little...well...drama. surprising when getting ready for a wedding? I don't think so.
so after some hard times, we decided to push the wedding back. dates pending. but right now were thinking in August...7th?

And to be frank, I like that date a lot better. It gives us time to be engaged and have that special time that really, you only have once together. so lets make the most of it.

I think we can all agree that everything in life is a learning experience. And with relationships sometimes its an "on the go" type of learning, fast paced, and tough. You really need to censor what you say to your significant other... why say something hurtful to someone you WANT to spend the rest of your life with? Once again, life teaches you that tough "life lesson", but you just have to take it in stride, and ensure that it does not happen again.

I personally hate drama, and hope with the date change and now MOVE, there will be little to none. Yea that's right, were moving. Rachel and I have been apartment hunting for ourselves for the past 5 days, and have recently been approved for a nice little 650 square foot apartment on the top floor of a building that takes pets... more importantly they take dogs!

I found a small room in the south end of Edmonton in a house that is so cluttered it makes me sick, but it is month to month, cheap, good location for me, and furnished. Not much else i could ask for at the moment. Rachel fell in love with one apartment (basically the first one we looked at) i love that about her, she knows what she wants, but is not ridiculously picky. Laid back and easy going! I love it, I love her. We are stealing what we need from our parents and going to buy the rest to accommodate us until the wedding. Where hopefully we get some sweet stuff, but most importantly.... a toaster oven.. hahaha.

I recently quit my job working for Mainstreet, great job! It filled my time and re focused me and reminded me that I love a good days work. Thank you Rach for that swift kick in the butt help motivate me.

Rachel and I have jobs in Edmonton working for my Uncle Jack, who runs a large landscaping company. We will be labourers and working the lovely and amazing 8am - 8pm grind. The overtime will be very much appreciated. Just going to throw this out there, but we were also thinking of asking Jack to marry us... we have talked about it, and I believe will go forward with it... but just need to ask him now.

Now in between these crazy times we have had some good times with the gang, including a day at the beach and a little bit of rafting accompanied by donuts and pizza... Then a themed party... this one was a Barbie party... here are a couple of pictures.

The beach was great, lots of sun, good food, good times, good friends... Not much else you can ask for if you ask me. Nat Craig provided the raft, Lorri the donuts, James the jokes and rowing, rachel the pizza... and I just... well hell i dont know what i did. I learned how to turn left, i think... Zoolander anyone? It was quite hot, and turns out, got to some of us for some nice sun burns to welcome us into the summer months. Then there was the theme night...

The girls dressed up, where as James, Julio, Sean and I just melted into the background and relaxed and watched them have a grand time with there costumes and take turn being in character.

Yeah its been great and not so great ere in Calgary lately...moving to Edmonton will be a welcomed change. were excited to work hard, and keep planning the wedding... oh, and of course keeping everyone posted on here! we'll get better! we promise. Bosley ATE Taylors computer cord the other day...so were one workstation down....we still love him...bus seriously?

And so it is, another hectic time between blogs... we will keep you posted... we promise!

R. & T.

AND the Bosserley!

.my.side.of.the.story. - .T.

And so it begins... my first blog ever done by myself.. i should say something about this girl that has turned my life around, given me focus, and made me believe in myself. but more importantly us. 

2008 brought around some rough times for myself. In 4 days it will be my year mark since i left on my mission. I have been left thinking about what i have accomplished over the past 12 months and the lessons i have learnt. Due to medical concerns the leaders at the MTC decided it best that i return home to deal with them. Now this turned my life upside down, I felt used and unwanted, mistreated and discarded, not only by the church but by family, friends, and significant others. Like i was just a number. Not someone that had sacrificed for all 19 years of his life to go and serve. 

I talked with my mom on the phone and she, with all her wisdom, said "coming home will be very hard Taylor, i hope this is the right thing...". 

We put our trust in the leaders of the MTC to be guided and do no wrong... for a long time i thought they had wronged me, and made the decision with their worldly knowledge, and not with the guidance of the spirit. For months I chased my dream, until finally, I had made the decision that it was time to move on. 

I was not progressing in any direction, although i made great friends and learned to deal with the heartaches and pain that life brings along with it. Learning lessons i would learn no where else. Meeting people at particular times that will change the course of ones life. 

And there she was, asking me to come sit by her to watch the Flames game.. Rachel Craig, the girl who just returned from her adventure in South America. Since then I can count the days we have been apart on 1 hand since that day. And everyday has been a new exciting adventure since.

I know now why I came home... And I would have it NO other way.

Rachel accepts everything that I am, passes no judgement, but most importantly understands .me.

We broke down each others walls. 

She is my world, my love and soon to be my wife. It puts a smile on the face just thinking about it. Everything that both of us have learned, experienced, and been through have led to this moment. We are deeply in love, there is no question about that. 

Today is a very exciting day, for her, I'm just anxious haha. HER DRESS IS HERE!! But alas i cannot see it... FML. But i can see the sparkle in her eye when she thinks about it or talks about it. It warms me to see her like this. So I am off, to go eat with her and spend some time with the families.

Keep checking in, I will be posting shortly about the things that I love, enjoy, and envy about Rachel Cam...Craig ;) Soon tay... soon! 

And so it is, 

.I.love.her.

.Tay.

piece it together....melt.dress.picture.weight.update!

.woah.

so after a mini-melt-down on Monday,(LOOOONG STORY...) I decided to hop right into planning this wedding HARD....I guess for a while the cynic in me snuck out for a bit and I just couldn't bring myself to be very proactive...Rachel the Runner popped in for a visit.

anyways

big news first:

I.BOUGHT.A.DRESS!.

after looking, and thinking and worrying, I got all sized up and bought a GORGEOUS dress from a little boutique called ABELLA BRIDAL in Provo...no, I didn't go to Provo...I had someone that I trust VERY MUCH go to the store and scope out the one I saw online and loved...she liked it, so shes bringing it on SUNDAY! AH! I think that might have been the little kick I needed to get me on that path to a wedding! the dress is a suprise tho...you all have to get me your addresses and come to the reception to see it! .x.x.

we got our engagement photos back...they are....good. I'm not giving them a great....and I'm not sure I want this photographer soley doing my wedding photos, but the engagement photos are good. I'm looking for a REALLY SPECIFIC style...those of you who know me know that I take kind of...different photos...I want that for myself....any IDEAS??!?

I started a new diet. booooo....its out of OXYGEN magazine. the blerb on the front says

"lose 10 pounds in 21 days"

FABULOUS!

right?

so here is the plan, you eat the SAME THING....EVERY DAY....for a week, then you change it up a little...and do it again. 3 weeks...

here I am at day 2....im STARVING! haha

wedding dress.wedding dress.wedding dress.... gah.

HOWEVER....

starting weight...147

current weight...142

5 pounds down. if i can lose the 10 pounds this diet is saying I can. im laughing...PRAY.FOR.ME!

okay .next. the invite list. MAN....that's hard. so many people from so many different parts of our lives, we have to gather addresses for all of them! HOW do you do this?? the facebook group thing worked...a LITTLE!

BUT let me rant

....tell me...WHY would you join a group for gathering addresses...and NOT write your address on the wall or at least e mail it? we have all these people who join the group being like...yo....congrats....just chillin here.

we have 225 members in our group....

address count? - in the 80's??

ummm....

anyways...rant over....well...THAT one...

yesterday we went and opened our REGISTRY at .The.Bay.

luckily we had this awesome list out of a magazine for things to register for...its so overwhelming in the beginning....but it ended up being actually really FUN!

tonight were scoping out things for our honey moon... nobody will be suprised WHERE we are going....any guesses?

.x.x.

.R.

.all.DRESSed.up.with.no...motivation

how do you guys feel about this dress? its called a mermaid style wedding dress...basically it hugs my (now...enormous) hips and accentuates a small waist...I went wedding dress shopping with my mom...with a cocktail dress in mind...but when put a dress similar to this one up...my ENTIRE view on my wedding dress changed. I decided that if I'm spending money on important things...you cant have gorgeous pictures...without a pretty wedding dress...(and a groom I guess.)

so the wedding planning continues. Tonight Tay and I went with my parents to a little place called "route 40" in Turner Valley. www.route40.ca

its a fairly organic, quaint, healthy restaurant...and were thinking about maybe trying to cram both of our huge families in there for a family dinner. he makes these most FABULOUS soups. even if he could cater us...I'm thinking hes an IN for the wedding....YAY....progress.

So, now the discussion is where to get married! I think once we figure that out everything will be a piece of cake.. right? haha damn rights it will. the sweetest piece of cake ever...mmmm cake....cake....drooolll......yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm BRB getting cake.

Ok enough salivating... you can tell i get side tracked easily, lets keep this on the straight and narrow. especially when cutting weight is next on the to do list. sauna sessions with a full sweatsuit on is in order, that's for sure. work is work, i believe we have found an apartment and if all works out according to plan we will get it at half price from my company! legit. Lots of other things to decide, but it will be a blast...

One thing i gotta let the secret out about is the fact i love that HR Block doesn't own Rachel anymore... Its very nice to spend some relaxing time with her each night and have some fun, instead of cramming it between the hours of 9pm and 12am... I love her! and I'm sorry but 3 hours is just not enough when you feel this way about someone. 

But hey were out, and well keep you posted.

R.T. - and little Satan...AKA Bosley

.sooo.sore-y

so yesterday I had my first "session with a personal trainer....Bell... and HELLS BELLS! she kicked my butt! everything we did, we did to failure...or basically until you drop. wall sits, sprints, chin ups, abs... I'm not going to lie, i felt GREAT, but man I'm sore today! my diet went well tho, I'm sticking to the tried and true WW diet. and i have to bring my food journal into my trainer when I go every time...lets see how it works! I went to Becka's body attack class today...its a little intense, but it does the trick!
yesterday Tay and I also hit our first big "wall" since we've gotten engaged.
people think, and are correct...when they say that Tay and I gt engaged very fast....but Ive heard things like "oh, so do you think Rachel will go through with it this time?" or "they are so immature, they have no idea what they are getting into" but the truth is... WE DO. Taylor and I have both had our fair share of relationships that have prepared us and strengthened us for THIS. we have seen break ups, and bad marriages, we've met bitter people and had our arguments....we are young, BUT

most importantly.

WE ARE

.IN.LOVE.



and I wish we didn't have to explain ourselves or prove ourselves to people....ESPECIALLY people who "love us". I don't like having to defend myself OR My actions...

but I will.

so, Rachel and I have now taken our engagement photos and are actually quite impressed with the photographer we chose. its quite a relief to feel comfortable with her and know that she is good at what she does. It felt really good because it was a nice mixture between poses, and natural action...she just let Rachel and I interact with each other.

also, according to Rachel....she "may" have found THE dress.....TBA. - I never get to know about this stuff! :(

alright, were off...tomorrow is a new day, a new adventure, but more importantly another day with the person that I love.

.R.T. - and boss....(sleeping on our feet.)

.dirty.work. - 46 days.

Hey Team

so its Monday. the start of a new week full of PLANNING!

I got up this morning and took our puppy Bosley to an off leash park....He spent most of the time leaping into my arms and crying when other dogs came to sniff him.

also when I was walking him, I spent some time on the phone with our potential photographer. here is a link to her website, tell me what you think.

http://www.everglowphotography.com/

we took the plunge and set up our engagement photos for tomorrow at 5:30...I decided that if we like the way she takes our engagement photos...we'll keep her for the wedding.

she isn't a CHEAP photographer, but Tay and I decided that that wasn't the important part...the important part is that we have pictures that we love FOREVER. for those of you who know me, I love photography. I LOVE taking pictures in creative styles...I'm just hoping this girl has the same vision as me...

other than that today consists of cleaning my room ( a rather large task)

and going to the gym for my first personal training session! (THANKS LISA!)

my current weight as of today is 146. when I was in my hard training days...my weight settled at about 130. I would love to hit that weight for my wedding. which is going to take some serious commitment in my part. but with the help of my super skinny fitness instructor sister Becka, my WW buddy Natalie Clark, and my ever supportive Fiance Taylor...I can do it!...or I hope I can!

I'm looking for some support here as well team...this wedding stuff is stressful! I don't have a dress! I know what I want (cocktail style made of all lace...) but finding it might be IMPOSSIBLE!

ahhhh!

xx

R

47 - .and.it.begins.

.WELCOME!.



.SO.



.WE.BEGIN.

With the help of my lovely hubby in the making... We are going to take you through our experiences of planning a wedding and preparing for our life together....
together!

Im going to talk in RED

And Taylors words are in BLUE

SO...

for the last 3 months I have been working non-stop at a dead end job with no time for ANYTHING ELSE. I would

.eat.sleep.work.

during that time I got engaged to my amazing boyfriend, and now were planning a wedding...but I couldnt even begin to think about planning until .NOW.

And during said time, I stopped by her office everyday, 3 months straight... Needless to say I will miss that little cubicle in the corner of sears. Seeing her at the end of the day made it all worth it ;)

we have untill June 19th. ( 47 days!)

we havent taken engagement photos or planned invites

we havent made a guest list

I NEED TO LOSE 15 POUNDS! (**STAY TUNED**)

we havent picked a photographer (this is SO IMPORTANT to us)

we dont even know WHERE we are getting married!

what if it rains?

what if I cant find a dress?

there are a MILLION questions to ask when planning a wedding.

But there is one thing for sure, and that is we are crazy in love... and having a blast! It all came together so easily.. but more importantly perfectly. Lets see if we can make a wedding do the same!

SO

were so excited to get married...but we have a loooong journey ahead of us!
step one has been finding a wedding photographer (ANY RECOMMENDATIONS?) and getting an invite list put together so that we can invite all of YOU! (if you arent one of our friends on FB put your address here!)

Yea, thats right we made a facebook group, but hey.. how else are we going to let roughly 500 people know AND collect addresses for all of them?! PRAISES to the creator of FACEBOOK.

SO follow us through this journey and we promise to keep you posted on the highs and lows of bieng an engaged couple.

XOXO

R&T